Fitsmast Challenge - Day One

Me vs The Scale PART I

Why does it have to be so hard? Why does it have so much power over me? These are the questions I asked myself every time I want to weight myself.

I have been struggling with my weight since I was a teenager. I remember vividly how my first boyfriend asked me "don't you think you should lose some weight?" in the middle of a make out session (I know, boys suck!). That thought got stuck in my brain since that moment. I stopped eating and started to throw up.  actively to try and lose weight. You can tell right from the beginning my relationship with food is not a healthy one, at all.

I lost weight, I did, but the cost was too high. Even teachers would stop me in the middle of the recess to ask why I was not eating. My mom started asking questions, she would only cook my favorite meals. It was a mess but at least my boyfriend was happy, right?

In the following years I learned a few things about myself.

1. I was gay -shocker-. 
2. I could eat and when I say I eat, I mean I can stuff my face for hours and still keep eating.  
3. Doing that will make me feel awful about myself and 9/10 times I would end up throwing up. 

This behavior stayed with me for years. I gain all the weight back, lost it again, gain it again. Every couple of months would be the same thing. And then my family moved to United States. And then I gained 40 pounds in 6 months. And then I was 194 pounds and NOTHING would fit me.

That's when I got a gym membership, started measuring foods and actually LEARNING what is food -I honestly had no idea calories fueled your body and calories in/calories out and all the science behind what your body needs-. I didn't even know what a macro nutrient is lol.

So I've been in this journey for a year, lost 40 pounds, gain a bit back and now I'm losing again. I am trying to be a bit more flexible and forgiving with myself; trying to avoid those foods that make me binge -and end up in me throwing up-. I try to go to the gym for fun and not as a punishment. It is a long road and I am just getting started so here we are, middle of December 2019 and I am asking myself "can I help anyone in the world by writing this, by showing them that throwing up or starving yourself is not worth it?". Well, I guess we will find out!

Please also stop by my Youtube Chanel. It's a tiny channel that I just started but if you subscribe you'll be seeing AWESOME and HARD workout routines.

https://youtu.be/FJ8MyWqiYzM